Let’s Flaunt It Lyrics – Romanovsky & Phillips

Some of My Best Friends Are Straight

Try not to laugh at the clothes that they wear
Didn’t mother teach you that it’s not polite to stare?
Don’t make a scene when you see them arm in arm
It’s best to just act casual, as if you’re not alarmed
Just look the other way if they should dare to show affection
And hope to God that they use condoms for their own protection

Just try, try, try to open up your heart
This world is big enough for some of us to play a different part
It’s not fair to persecute them for a simple twist of fate
Some of my best friends are straight

Try not to wince at their backyard barbecues
Be tactful when you tell them that their socks don’t match their shoes
And when they drive by in their souped-up automobiles
Don’t yell, ‘You look ridiculous up there on those great big wheels!’
Though the lifestyle that they’ve chosen seems a bit outrageous
Take comfort in the fact that their condition’s not contagious

Just try, try, try to open up your heart
This world is big enough for some of us to play a different part
Although at times their preference makes them hard to tolerate
Some of my best friends are straight

We’ve got to understand they cannot help themselves
And if it disturbs you, perhaps you have those tendencies yourself!

Try not to gawk when you see them at the mall
Don’t freak out at the gym if one should share your shower stall
Try not to smirk at the hairdos that they sport
Though at times you’d like to haul them off to fashion court
And if in fact you find yourself compelled to intervene
Just gently recommend they find a barber who’s a queen!

Just try, try, try to open up your heart
This world is big enough for some of us to play a different part
Although they have a tendency to overpopulate
Some of my best friends are straight
Now I might not want my sister to take one on a date
Some of my best friends are
One of your best friends could be
Even someone right beside you could be straight!

music & lyrics © Ron Romanovsky
Published by Bodacious Music (ASCAP)
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Homophobes in Robes

When Pope John Paul begins his day
Perhaps he says a little prayer
But before he tries to save our souls
He must decide what he will wear
Now he doesn’t put on Dockers
Or polyester slacks
Even when he has a crowd to bless
He has an image to live up to
And he works it to the max
The pontiff makes a stunning statement in a dress

But is it just a papal preference
Of the holy prince himself?
Has he got no trousers on his shelf?

When the KKK decides to march
Or set somebody’s house on fire
They dare not bare their arms
When they’ve a cross to burn–oh, no
A special outfit is required
But they don’t wear leather jackets
They don’t wear chains and boots
When they’re out to terrorize the streets
No, they’d rather their ensemble
Be comfortable and loose
So they stay cool in pure white poly-cotton sheets
Gee, they’re so intimidating!
Ooh, they look so doggone mean!
Like a bunch kids on Halloween

Homophobes, homophobes, homophobes in robes

It’s a crazy contradiction
It’s a little bit unclear
Why they dress the way they do
Yet have the nerve to call us queer
Do they shop at ‘Casual Corner’
Is ‘Lerners’ on their map
Well, that would certainly explain
Why you don’t see them at the Gap

Now the Supreme Court has a job to do
To uphold the constitution of this land
And on matters of consenting acts
The moral fabric of the country’s in their hands
But they don’t dress up like lawyers
In Armani suits and ties
Like every other legislative clown
No, they need to feel the power that basic black provides
And so they choose to skirt the issues in a gown
Is it just a twist of fate, or
Is it simply happenstance
That these pompous pricks won’t put on pants?

Homophobes, homophobes, homophobes in robes

Never know where you might find them
Down the street, or ’round the globe
Watch out for …those homophobes in robes!

music & lyrics © Ron Romanovsky
Published by Bodacious Music (ASCAP)
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If There’s A God (He’s A Queen)

I’ve been around the block
I’ve seen a lot of sights
From the outback of Australia
To Alaska’s northern lights
And I have to say I’m so impressed
With the beauty of this earth
And I have theory to impart
For whatever it is worth

Chorus:
Just think about the things you’ve seen
The mountains and the oceans and the prairies in between
Oh, people can’t you see
It’s obvious to me
That if there is a god, he’s a queen

Just drive through the Canyonlands
And you, too, will believe
‘Cause there are color combinations
That no straight man could conceive
The striations and the textures
You will see there in the land
Could have only been invented by
A nelly holy man

(Chorus)

Now the Bible says
He did it all within a week
And I’m quite impressed
Thought I’ve also got a small critique
He should not have taken that seventh day of rest
‘Cause he could have done a little more work
On the Midwest (at least Ohio!)

Stroll through New England
When Autumn’s in full force
To confirm my reference to the sexual preference
Of the one we call The Source
And if you think I need more evidence
To really validate my claim
What about the guy who wrote
“For purple mountains’ majesty
Above the ‘fruited’ plain?”

(Chorus)

Now it seems we’ve solved one mystery
Of the earth and its creator
Jesus might have been a carpenter
But his father was a decorator

(Chorus)

music & lyrics © Ron Romanovsky
Published by Bodacious Music (ASCAP)
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One Way Out

Guess I was one of the lucky ones
My threats were just a charade
But there was a time when it seemed like the answer
Was a bottle of pills, or a razor blade

‘Cause when they don’t understand you
Or they tell you it’s only a phase
Well that’s one way out of high school
One way to escape all your loneliest days
One way out of a small town
And sometimes it seems like the only way

I could have been a statistic
And what would the papers have said?
I doubt if they would have told the whole story
Of who really left me for dead

When they talk about “saving the children”
One of ten they ignore
But if we the survivors can drown out the liars
We won’t have to lose any more

Anyone can be a beacon
To brighten the dark of despair
And light up the path to another way out
When nobody else seems to care

music & lyrics © Ron Romanovsky
Published by Bodacious Music (ASCAP)
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Missy And Heidi

In Manassas, Virginia, an average city of
Social norms and teen-age love
Missy and Heidi so patient and so calm
Saved up their allowances and went to the prom

They were both athletic on the track and on the court
They excelled in their studies as well as in sports
But Missy and Heidi kinda dropped a bomb
By announcing that together they would go to the prom

They took a few jeers, they took some catcalls
Some of their classmates laughed in the halls
But Missy and Heidi, as friends cheered them on
Straightened up their bow ties and went to the prom

Some folks were amused, some were simply stunned
No one really knew what a victory they had won
And they danced one dance in their lavender cummerbunds

The principal told them that they had every right
He said he couldn’t deny them their special night
So Missy and Heidi, assisted by their moms
Pinned their pink corsages on and went to the prom

They talked to The Blade, the talked toThe Post
With some trepidation as the day grew close
But Missy and Heidi, not Missy and Tom
Rented out a limousine and went to the prom

To some it was a joke, to some it wasn’t real
But they were just another couple, no big deal
As they danced one dance in tuxedos and high heels

So if you’re letting your love be determined by the world
If your banner of love hasn’t been unfurled
Think of Missy and Heidi, ’cause they knew all along
Everybody’s got a right to go to the prom

music & lyrics © Ron Romanovsky
Published by Bodacious Music (ASCAP)
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The Last Ones To Know

My classmates weren’t stupid
They were simply cruel
When they saw me softly swishing
Down the halls of middle school
Was it how I held my books that garnered me the tag
Was it how I threw the ball that made them call me “fag”
And why did I deny it when they quickly figured out
‘Cause I knew that I was different but I didn’t know just how

Why are we so clueless?
Why are we so slow?
When it comes to coming out
Why are we the last ones to know?

Wrote a letter to my sister
Cracked the closet door a bit
She said, “I always thought you were one
Glad that you’ve discovered it!“
Was it all the things I did that put her in the know?
Dancing, drawing, teaching my own mother how to sew!
And would I have denied it if she’d told me face to face
Or did I have to learn it at my own self-conscious pace?

Somehow I was sheltered from the writing on the wall
Couldn’t see myself reflected anywhere at all
Looking back on everything I went through in my youth
Wish it hadn’t taken so damn long to face the truth
Now that I am older I think I can safely say
No one’s really shocked although they may act that way
Be afraid or dismayed on that day when you say
‘What the hell’ and you tell them you’re gay

The people working in his office
See right through his masquerade
But he’s convinced he’s got them all fooled
So he continues his charade
Is it that he doesn’t flirt with women like the other guys?
Is it what he ‘doesn’t‘ say that gives away his little lies?
And yet he still denies it and he lives his life in fear
He doesn’t seem to realize that everybody knows he’s queer

Why do we think they’re clueless?
Why do we think they’re so slow?
Why are we afraid of coming out
When in fact they already know?

music & lyrics © Ron Romanovsky
Published by Bodacious Music (ASCAP)
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Burning Angels

The city of angels has gone up in flames
‘Cause no one dared to place the blame
Random acts of violence for one certain act of shame
Frustration’s finally taken aim

Chorus:

And only justice can put out the fire
And clear the smoke which clouds this land
The flames are only getting higher
We try but we can’t understand

San Francisco, ’79, city hall was ablaze
We heard the news, we were amazed
Me, I felt the heat and then I understood the rage
When the jury’s verdict set the stage

(Chorus)

And the answer’s locked within our hearts
It’s not so far away
It’s as constant as the ocean
Ever present as the bay
And the flames keep burning higher
Yet there’s water all around
And we could do what’s right
Yet there is no justice to be found

(chorus twice)

music & lyrics © Ron Romanovsky
Published by Bodacious Music (ASCAP)
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Don’t Sleep With Your Ex

Bitter words slice through the night
A desperate call, the final flight
And then it hits you like a train
Years of loving down the drain
So why take even one step back
When you know that it’s a fact

Refrain:
Don’t sleep with your ex
Why would you complicate a life that’s already too complex
I know that you’re lonely
But you’re better off alone
Than to be borrowing a heart that you can never call your own

Tears are falling from your eyes
And anyone can sympathize
You have a hurt you want to numb
But he is not the place to run
So you must be your own best friend
It’s time for this to end

(refrain)

Hope’s a curse you cannot shake
But a strong heart’s unafraid to break
You reach for him in search of clues
Tomorrow you’ll be more confused
‘Cause you don’t need to lose him twice
This is my advice

(refrain)

He Is My L-O-V-E-R

When I introduced him
You were quite civilized
I said this is my lover
You didn’t act surprised
You reached out to shake his hand
Said hello and then
Called out to the family,
“Hey! Come here and meet Paul’s ‘friend’”

Chorus:
But he’s not just my buddy
He’s more than a friend
He’s not my sidekick
So, guess again!
Yes, he’s my partner
And sometimes a brother
More than an ally
He is my lover

Well it’s no family secret
So what is there to fear?
You’re the only one
Who cannot say your son is queer
They have all stopped asking
Why I’m not married yet
But I’ve told you a hundred times
And each time you forget

(Chorus)

Well I’ve tried and tried to help you
To somehow understand
This isn’t just a phase, you know
I really love this man
Now I know how long you’ve waited
For the chance to be a grandma
But you’ll just have to settle for
A faggot son-in-law

Island Song

Some people want to lock us up
And throw away the key
They want to put us on a boat
And ship us out to sea
I’m tired of arguing with idiots
I’m starting to agree
Their fascist plan’s beginning
To make some sense to me

So, go ahead and put me on an island
Hawaii, the Bahamas, or Key West!
We’ll have a lesbian, gay and bi-land
Lord knows, we all deserve a rest

Some people say we’re perverts
They say we are insane
They want to take away the rights
We’ve fought so hard to gain
The battle is exhausting
It’s a struggle all the way
So let’s accept their offer
And take a holiday

Oh, go ahead and give us isolation
Where we can be with all the other queers
We’re exhausted from this fight for liberation
Martha’s Vineyard is so nice this time of year

And if instead they sent us to some god-forsaken hell
It wouldn’t take us long to fix it up and make it swell
With out talent and good taste we’d make it pretty in a snap
Just like we have done in every city on the map

Oh, go ahead and send us into hiding
We’ll winter in the Caribbean Sea
Where we’ll go snorkeling and surfing and hang-gliding
Spend summers on Vancouver Island, B.C.

Oh, go ahead and put me on an island
The Catalinas, Barbados or Japan
This land will be your land, New Zealand will be my land
Where I can be with others of my clan
Somewhere warm where I can get a tan!

Let’s Flaunt It!

Chorus:
Let’s flaunt it, let’s flaunt it
Let’s celebrate our love
I want to, I want to
Proliferate our love

I’m an avowed homosexual
And you’re a practising one
Long as we’re gonna go to hell
We might as well have some fun
We’ll stir up some trouble
Just by holding hands
Stop traffic, start rumors
Relating man to man

I’m a self-confessed lesbian
And you’re an admitted one
Long as we’re gonna burn in hell
We might as well have some fun
We’ll upset the neighbors
Especially the men
‘Cause woman to woman
Is threatening to them

Sodomy, fellatio, cunnilingus
Let’s let it show…that…

I’m an immoral degenerate
And you’re an irreverent one
Long as we’re on the road to hell
We might as well have some fun
And just like the army
We’ll increase our troops
Get tips on recruitment
From fundamentalist groups

Two Person Strong

Riding on rhythm
Sailing on song
Holding the harmony
Two person strong
The things that we have to say
Won’t come out any other way
When I try to say it with words
It seems that I’m never heard

Making the music
Singing the song
Minding the melody
Moving along
It’s not that we don’t want to hear
But music makes it all very clear
When I try to talk to you
Sometimes I can’t get through

When we’re making the music
Singing the song
Minding the melody
Moving along
Riding on rhythm
Sailing on song
Holding the harmony
Two person strong
The things that we have to say
Won’t come out any other way